His Mission, Not Mine

One of the most exciting moments for someone preparing to serve a mission is the day they get to open their call. This day for me was anything but exciting, nerve wracking, and long. My call had been at home for 3 days and I hadn't even gotten to hold it yet, because I was still in Cedar City. The friday I opened my call was such a long day. I had several classes, I needed to stay focused, and I still needed to take the 3 1/2 hour drive to SLC. Well, the moment finally came. I had a lot of family to support me, and find out where I was going and the excited was already flowing out of my body. Not to mention I was going on 3 hours of sleep, because I was excited and just couldn't sleep. I had the call in my hands, my family was around me and all I could think of was what if I didn't want to go where the Lord needed me to go. That thought immediately left as soon as I was opening the letter. I had been called to serve in the New York, New York North mission. My family all started cheering and I needed to settle them down because there was more. I was to prepare to preach the gospel in the Mandarin Chinese language. Yes, I am learning to speak Chinese. The best moment of that entire process was the feeling I got as soon as I saw where I was going. It wasn't a burning sensation, it wasn't overwhelming peace, and it wasn't doubt. It was the calming but exciting feeling I get when I know something is right. I know I should keep moving forward, but not 100% sure of why. It was the same feeling I got when I knew I should go to SUU, I just kept moving forward.
That is when I realized this is His mission, not mine. I am going for him, not me, not because "everyone else" is going, and not because of the age change. I am going because I need Him and He needs me. He knows something I don't, but something that I have in me that can change someone in New York to bring them closer to their Savior Jesus Christ. He knows that with His help I will be able to speak Chinese. He also knows my testimony better than I do, and He knows how He can change me through the people His spirit will teach, with me being the instrument He needs. This is his will, "This is my work and my glory--to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man."  (Moses 1:39) He wants to change us to be able to become like He is, because that is the way to eternal life, and eternal happiness. All He wants is for us to be happy.